you should have guessed that this will appear in my blog.
since everybody wrote, i guess i should too.
i should express my true feelings for you.
okay, you should have known by now,
im not as close to you as i was in sec 2-3.
i cant seem to share anything with you, my secrets and my life. now.
there's just this barrier in between us.
maybe its just me, but i know,
the barrier is thick enough for me and you to stay as normal friends forever.
i dont know if you can sense it,
but dont you feel that im closer to the rest than you now?
it doesnt used to be like this. i've changed.
want to know why?
i used to put all my utmost trust in you, rather than the other 3.
you, were the one that told me,
i was the closest and bestest in between us.
so i wanted to feel the same.
i did, really treated you as my bestest when i was in sec 2-3.
im sure you know it.
i shared my secrets w you and we used to share food and do everything tgt.
i really liked you that time, and gradually you became my bestest.
but, maybe as what ppl always say : happiness never lasts long.
im not sure why, whether you're sure of it anot, you changed. tremendously.
many, many ppl told me things you did, and what you said abt me.
i didnt trust them at first, like how you said it in yr blog.
not to trust others but trust you, as my bestest.
i thought they did it only to spoil our friendship.
so everytime they said it, i wouldnt care.
but one day, i heard it myself.
you told somebody things abt me. and i overheard it.
i was so sad, at that point of time i heard it.
i was, also angry knowing the fact that you might have leaked out everything i told you.
to whoever, im not sure.
gradually, our distance between each other pulled.
longer and longer and longer.
you changed so much, that everything you do was a bad impression to me.
maybe its because i have changed my impression on you,
so i tend to look at you negatively.
but you cant deny that you started telling outside ppl,
our clique secrets, and you started becoming more and more proud.
you would come to school everyday and say that yr mom bought you this & that.
i dont mean telling your friends what your mom bought is wrong,
but the way you say it makes ppl think you're boasting you see.
you always emphasize that its expensive. if you ever realised.
thats one major reason why i dislike you.
well, im not saying that i didnt badmouth anyone in my life before,
but i only do it, if something related to him/her happened.
remb the meeting @ pizza hut?
it was supposed to solve every grudges we had in our clique.
at first, after the meeting, i stopped gossipping abt you.
i really did. you can ask the rest.
and whenever they gossip abt you, i try to mend things, and explain for you.
but gradually, you didnt change. at all. not one bit.
you stayed the same, told ppl our secrets and you still boast abt your things.
i dont know if you told them unknowingly, but either way, its still unacceptable.
im sure abt the rest, but another thing abt you,
is you like having your copyrights. this happened veryvery long ago.
whenever you have any new songs, you will intro me.
then when i ask from you to send me, you always will emphasize,
"i send you de hor! must thank me horr!" i will thank you, of course.
its basic manners. but its the part when i intro this particular song to another person,
you will go to him/her and emphasize that if not for you, i wouldnt have know it.
by doing this, you made me feel like i was SO old-fashioned.
you said it like as if, i didnt know any new songs and only know old.
i really really, hated this feeling. it sucks, you know?
i hope you realised by now, what is happening to you right now,
is what you yourself have created. you created this mess to clean.
you'll have to take all that you deserve.
as your friend, i cant help you either.
im sorry, but i think its the best for everybody now.
you should really reflect on yourself, i hope.
this is what you get, when you betray others to make other new friends.
that is not the correct way to make friends.
true friends keep all their friends secrets to themselves,
true friends dont betray their bestest and speak of them badly.
true friends are friends that everybody wants.
who doesnt? duh, right.
and really, if you dont ever change, the barrier between us is going to get bigger and bigger.
maybe even if after we graduate, we will not keep contact. ever.
please, we did this, for your own good.
admit your mistakes.
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